Why Is It Always Me?

I interviewed for probably one of the most fantastic jobs ever today and in typical Lauren fashion, was fifteen minutes late. I even gave myself an extra thirty minutes to get there so I would have time to breath and not be panicked about getting there on time. An hour and fifteen minutes to get there when I only live twenty minutes away in reality. Thankfully the interviewer was kind and understanding, and I am hopefully scheduling a follow up interview. I call it my 'New Girl' moments because these awkward, unfortunate events seem to happen to me frequently.

Then I thought about it and I feel that way about PCOS a lot too, why is it always me? That awkward moment when you're on a date with this really great guy at the drive in and he's holding your hand while watching X-Men: First Class but you can't relax... because your IBS won't let you. So you sit there, sweating, trying too look cool while the grumblings of gas and poopville threaten to ruin the evening. Or you show up to a fabulous interview but you have a giant whitehead on your forehead that rivals the one the guy had in Liar, Liar. 

Thankfully, I've started to look at these incidents with a new set of eyes. Ellen always jokes about life. That's where she gets her material from. Whether it's some guy tripping on the street who starts running to make it look like he's been jogging the whole time or how insert voicemails make us sound like robots because you only have those few seconds to insert your name in the most monotone way. Having PCOS and my embarrassing moments have lead to some of my best material for telling stories.

For instance, I went to a cousins bridal shower this spring and one of the new games is to design a wedding gown out of toilet paper using a real model. Well I was the real model for my group and when you don't feel great about your body, being wrapped up tightly in toilet paper sounds like the worst thing possible. Instead of letting my fears and insecurities consume me like I normally would, I embraced it. I played the role of the blushing bride and our team won! And to top it all off, instead of awkwardly removing myself from the toilet paper, I turned it into a joke. I had no idea how I was going to get it off, other than ripping it off and all I could think of was a stripper. So I walked out into the middle of that room, started singing Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get It On," and dancing, and stripped myself out of that toilet paper and had the whole room roaring. 

On any given day, we might not feel like a woman because our mustache is a little bushier than we'd like it to be, or it looks like we have no hair because we've lost so much or your favorite dress can't even make you feel good because you're so bloody bloated but so what! We're the only ones that know this. A lot of this is perception and how we talk to ourselves. We have this disorder and we have to live with it but people won't love you because you are a size two skinny blonde with perky breasts, people are going to love you because you have a big heart, are kind, positive, can laugh at yourself and any horrible situation that may come your way, etc. At the end of the day we are our own biggest bullies. So stop bullying yourselves and try to see the best in you like those who love you do. Laugh at yourself and laugh at life because the hits will keep on coming. They don't just stop because you think you've had enough. If you can't smile through it all, then what's the point? I think Charlotte said it best in Sex and the City regarding being happy in relationships and that she wasn't happy all day every day but every day she was happy in her relationship. You will have your ups and downs to where you're not happy all day every day but every day at the end of it all, try to be happy.