Cosmo Says You're Fat, Well I Ain't Down With That

Apologies for my absence, it's been quite crazy lately! I've been thinking a lot about relationships, how they play into how we see ourselves, and how they can either pick up on our insecurities or put them to rest. As I've said before, I have a pretty strict diet. I probably eat clean anywhere from 80-100% of the time and any guy I've ever dated has known this. They've also been fully aware of the fact that I indulge occasionally on the weekends because I kill it during the week. Sadly, that hasn't stopped them from counting calories, the tans fat, the carbs or whatever it was that they were obsessed with counting. I'm a big believer in not trashing your body, but I also know stress is a killer and taking all enjoyment out of food, to the point where you crash and binge, is not a good thing either. 

It's funny because I've let this behavior get to me in the past, convinced myself that the reason things ended were because I wasn't good enough but the truth is I let them get to me and I lost myself in the process. Thankfully, it was one of the many sparks that lit the fire I've been running on for the last eight months. I work hard, my blood tests are all in the healthy range, I am seen by a functional medicine doctor every 3-6 months and am monitored closely. I have grown to love myself unconditionally, appreciate my body because it is unique to me and am truly the happiest I've ever been. Clearly what the media says and what some people around me say rolls right off of me these days. I work hard, harder than most people I know and I eat healthier than pretty much everyone I know. So I'm going to enjoy my occasional burger, pizza, pasta, what have you and I really could care less how many calories, grams of fat or whatever else we're worrying about is in there these days because I'm here to live life, not worry it away. 

That being said, today's food consumption included a green smoothie, salad for lunch, Kind bar for a snack and I'll have a bison burger with Brussels sprouts for dinner. I've had all my supplements, did a Himalayan Salt water flush and drank my teas.

Fat Is NOT A Choice.. At Least Not for Everyone

A lot of fit and skinny people seem to have this common misconception that fat is a choice, but for some of us, they could not be more wrong...

I am twenty nine years old, I am 5'2" and I currently weigh 159 pounds. I do some form of exercise almost every single day and I try to hit 5,000 steps per day (which I typically exceed). My diet consists mostly of fruits, veggies, seafood, meat, eggs, organic tea, and water and occasionally raw nuts, honey, decaffeinated coffee and either coconut or almond milk. If I indulge in something, it's only when I go out (which is very rare) and it's always gluten free, and usually dairy free if I can manage it. If I'm going to eat carbs or sugar, I try to consume it prior to noon, I eat a lot of salads, smoothies (packed with spinach, flax seed and fruit), I try to have protein at every meal and I try to eat 4-5 small meals per day. My exercise has been a combination of PiYo (Pilates + yoga), Focus T25 and lifting as of late, and I try to do one of these at least 5-6 days a week, if not squeezing in two per day if possible. On top of all of this, I also take Borage Oil, Vitamin D, Vitamin B12, Iron, DHEA, Ashwagandha, Fish Oil, Cinnamon, Probiotics and Magnesium every single day.

You're probably looking at this thinking, okay, she works out, quite a bit, she eats hardly any carbs, pretty much no processed foods and she doesn't skimp on calories so it's not like her body is going into starvation mode... she has to be lying about something. But I promise you, I'm not. And I'm not the only person who struggles with weight that goes through this same exact problem. This mystery is something I'm still working on with my doctor, who I see at least twice per year and she's just as stumped as I am. To prove my point that just because someone is a little curvy or packs on a few more pounds than they should does not mean that they are lazy, eat bad foods, are necessarily unhealthy and that it's a choice, I am going to try to post on here what I eat, what my steps were that day, what I did for exercise and if I took my supplements, and it starts today.

Here is how my day has played out so far, keep in mind I am currently doing a 10 Day cleanse:

1. Took all of my supplements + my Young Living Oils (Peppermint, Thieves, Lemon, Orange + Lime) + a tablespoon of coconut oil this morning
2. Drank Peach Detox Tea + Himalayan Salt Water this morning
3. Had a mid-morning Shake that consisted of Flax Seed, Water, Spinach, Blueberries, a banana and peaches.
4. Had another tea after my morning shake.
5. Had a juice that had beets, carrots, kale and ginger for a noon meal
6. I'll have 3 eggs and a cucumber here in a bit, preceded by a Himalayan Salt Water.
7. I'll probably have another tea before I leave.
8. Dinner will be some more of the shake I had for breakfast with maybe an egg
9. I'll do PiYo (Pilates + Yoga) for my workout tonight
10. I'll take another dose of Fish Oil + DHEA + Borage Oil before bed
11. By the time this day is over, I will probably have hit 7,000 + steps

Life Lessons... From A Haircut

If someone had asked me if I thought that one of my "AHA!" moments would be a result of donating my hair, I would have giggled and said, "Transitions don't come from cutting your hair, they come from defining life moments." But somehow, cutting my hair last week DID become a defining life moment.

Three years ago now, I fell really hard for someone I thought was amazing. And just as quickly as it began, it ended. It was abrupt, it was very hard to grasp, and it took me two years to get over it. It messed with me almost more than any other life event has. And I thought I had fully let that go, but I hadn't. It wasn't until I had ended yet another defining relationship that I realized just how far removed I was from my core. And I had no one to blame but myself.

Somehow in the last three years, I started down this journey where I ate what I thought I was supposed to, grew out my hair and really tried to work on my health because I magically thought this would fix whatever was "wrong" with me and I'd inevitably win my "one true love" back; FALSE. In shedding my locks I realized one major thing; I wasn't doing anything for me. My growth, my hair, my lifestyle, all a direct result of what I thought I was supposed to be doing. And the truth is, if you can't see through the muck who someone is and love them for their core, then that person was never your one true love to begin with. I was changing everything I was for something that didn't even exist. And the most important lesson in all of this is that nothing, and I mean absolutely NOTHING that you ever do should ever feel anything but 100%. You can do it for someone else, but just make sure you're true to yourself in the process.

For instance, my current hair. My awesome, wonderful, bouncy, sassy, short "DO" is me. It has my personality written all over it. And shouldn't everything I do, ESPECIALLY how I live my life, have me written all over it? I'm not a frightened person, I am fearless. I don't back away from a challenge, I run it down and I own it. I have survived circumstances that no child should ever have to go through, but I glared down that beast like I was HULK. And somehow, in the last couple of years or more even, I have become so frightened, by everything. Everything I was doing was out of fear or for someone else, and that's no way to live.

For years I've felt lonely and almost desperate for companionship. But now, after this transformation, it's almost like I have this big hand, holding my heart, giving me its warmth, it's strength and its comfort. I don't feel alone and I certainly don't feel scared to walk the next chapter of my life standing on my own two feet. I know I have the love and support of my whole family but this journey is one that has to be done alone.

And to all of my friends out there who are going through some kind of growth, just listen to your heart. Is the path you're going down the one that YOU want? Are you doing it for you? Don't be scared to fight for yourself, even if you have to do something very scary to get there, because I promise the other side is full of possibility, warmth and endless love. You will be unstoppable.

Get Your Teeth Looking Their Best

People are always telling me how nice my teeth are and asking me what I do, therefore I thought I would share my regiment.

Step 1: I combine baking soda + Tom's fluoride free tooth paste + water and I use that as my tooth paste and brush with my sonicare tooth brush for two minutes. Once I rinse, I floss with Tom's fluoride free floss.

Step 2: I then mix 1 part Tom's fluoride and alcohol free mouth wash with 1 part hydrogen peroxide (active ingredient in whitening strips) and swish anywhere from 30 seconds to one minute. I find the peroxide not only helps to whiten my teeth but if I have any kind of canker sore or cut, it helps to clean it out and heal.

Step 3: I oil pull with organic coconut oil for 20 minutes. I break off a little piece and swish it around my mouth. No need to melt it if it's in solid form as it melts quite quickly from the heat of your mouth.

I try to do this every day but it's not necessary and I think once a day at most is good enough. You should notice a difference within a few days and be on your way to getting your best smile. Nothing makes you feel better than being able to flash a mouth full of pearly whites.

Clean Eats: Bacon + Avocado Egg Salad

I've gotten a lot of requests for the following recipe, therefore I felt it necessary to share! This is an easy recipe to prepare ahead of time and all you have to do is reheat the bacon stove top, in a toaster oven or a full oven. Microwaving it will zap the nutrients and you certainly don't wish to do that!

Ingredients

1 Medium Haas Avocado
2 slices of uncured bacon (Cooked however you wish. I cooked my bacon stove top first with just Himalayan Salt and Freshly Ground Pepper then reheated it in the toaster oven. It was perfectly crispy which is definitely KEY here!)
2 hard boiled eggs
Himalayan Salt and Freshly Ground Pepper to taste

Take your lovely, ripe Avocado, cut it up and scrape out all the deliciousness and mash in a bowl. Cut up your hard boiled eggs and mix well with the avocado. Finally, if your bacon isn't already, cut up your 2 slice of bacon into bite size bits and mix with the avocado and egg. I just did a few cracks of Himalayan salt and it was perfect but some people like pepper in theirs as well. Stir and enjoy!

Week 2 of Cleanse Reflection

Going into week three of the cleanse now and I'm noticing some amazing differences, even bigger differences than I have in the past. I've always known that cleansing lowers your testosterone levels, hence why the weight tends to go in the areas that men typically gain it I would imagine. That being said, I've noticed a significant decrease in my facial hair growth as well as a decrease in hair loss on top of my head. This is something that has hardly ever slowed since I began losing it. I literally just got choked up on the phone expressing this to my mother. This is something I have been dreaming about for no less than nine years. It's absolutely unbelievable to me. My skin has also been unbelievable as well. I've noticed a huge difference in my face. 

My upper arms are incredibly soft. I'm actually sure my coworkers think I'm a creep because I definitely just took my arm out of my blazer and started caressing my arm. Ew, I even sound creepy just writing it! Haha. The healing capabilities of my pimples has also decreased from seven days to just two. I honestly am shocked by the improvements and can't wait to see where I am a few months from now.

Overall, as of this morning, I am down a total of 10lbs (4lbs for round two). On average I'm losing 5lbs per week therefore I'm hoping I get down to 145lbs by the end of this cleanse. I'll also be quite excited to see how many inches I've lost come next Monday. Post cleanse I hope to continue eating the way I have and perhaps incorporating some seafood. I plan to only eat meat and have cheat meals when eating out and eating Clean/Pescatarian the remainder of the time all the while tracking it via Weight Watchers. I also plan to continue doing double T25 workouts, riding my bike on the weekends and starting to train for a half marathon that I hope to do in November. Hoping this is the beginning of the next part of my journey!

Week 1 in Review

The first week went better than I had anticipated. I'm down 6lbs already and I can really see it in my face and stomach. I keep looking in the mirror, a little too much. The bloating has gone down quite a lot and it's really exciting, especially in my fingers. Despite eating less, I've discovered that I'm not as hungry. If I eat too much, I feel it immediately. 

On yet another high note, I saw my functional medicine doctor on Monday. I cannot believe I went so long without seeing one. It's just unbelievable to be able to sit down in a doctors office and say, "I'm finding that I have pimples around my hairline and forehead," and have them respond with, "Are you using gluten free hair care?" Something I would not have thought of in a million years and something that would have prompted any other doctor to suggest medications or medicated cream to get rid of it, or suggested a million tests to figure out what it was. The days of going through medications and multiple tests is over. I honestly don't know how I ever went without a Functional Medicine doctor. They're quick when you want them to be but my visits always last an hour at least because that's how much time they're willing to spend with you. If you're interested in finding a functional medicine doctor near you, below is the site I used to find mine. For those who are local to the Boston area, my doctor works out of the Dedham location for Visions Healthcare and they also have a location in Wellesley. If you find that you get sick often, are on a lot of medications, have serious health issues, etc I highly recommend these kinds of doctors. They focus on the source instead of just putting you on medications that cover up the issue. It's truly amazing!

http://www.functionalmedicine.org/